The Nord, The Bosmer, and The Imperial
by BigB27
Summary: One shot. Sven and Faendal have been fighting over Camilla Valerius for years. But in the end who will end up with Camilla? Based on the quest A Lovely Letter.


The Nord the Bosmer and the Imperial

It was a sunny day in Riverwood. Camilla Valerius was sitting on the riverbank with her feet in the water. Two men slowly approached Camilla from different directions. One was the Bosmer Faendal; the other was Sven, a Nord bard. Faendal quickened his pace when he spotted Sven. Sven glared at Faendal. "Sure is a nice day huh" Faendal said to Camilla. She nodded. "How's the water Camilla?" Sven asked. Camilla got a nervous look on her face. Every time she saw Sven and Faendal they began fighting over her. This had been going on for years. At first she thought it was cute, however it was only a short time before cute became irritating. Camilla doesn't even like leaving the shop. They were either fighting over her, or they were trying to win her with tedious methods, Camilla sighed. "The water is wet." Camilla replied bluntly. "How about I sing us a summer ballad to commemorate this moment?" Sven asked. "Erm…"Camilla mumbled. "No Sven, Camilla doesn't want to hear that nonsense you call romantic. How about I show you my archery skills? I bet you I can hit that oak tree." Faendal said pointing to a tree 50 feet away. "Oh please, everyone in the imperial legion can do that. In fact, my mom could hit that target." Sven retorted. Faendal and Sven exchanged angry glares. "The river is warm, The Sun is bright, the birds are singing, what a beautiful light."Sven began singing. Faendal began shooting arrows at the tree. "Look at that, perfect shot!" Faendal said in an arrogant tone. They both looked at Camilla who was staring at the ground awkwardly. "The flowers are blooming on the wonderful bay, oh what a lovely summer day." Sven continued singing. Faendal shoot several more arrows at the tree resembling an F. "F for Faendal, you impressed Camilla?" Faendal asked. "I need to help out at the shop. See you later guys." Camilla said rushing to the Riverwood trader. "Look what you've done with that stupid song of yours." Faendal said angrily. "No you caused this with your stupid archery" Sven snapped. "Camilla is mine Sven! She doesn't want a stupid bard!" Faendal shouted. "She's not yours she's mine! Why would she want some stupid miller?" Sven shouted back. "Because I have a real job, you just annoy people at the inn with your singing!" "What I do requires talent! A lumber mill will hire any milk drinker off the street!" "You keep telling yourself that! You live with your mother!" "She lives with me! I take care of my family! Unlike you, who abandoned his family in Valenwood!"Sven shouted. "This isn't over Sven! I will have Camilla Valerius!" Faendal screamed as he stormed off back to the lumber mill.

That evening Sven was at the Inn working. It was a standard night. Several of the locals were there having a drink. One or two travellers had stopped by. One of the travellers in particular had caught Sven's attention, a male Nord with an iron helmet. Sven noticed him talking to Ralof earlier that day; some nonsense of a dragon attacking Helgen. Sven was singing Ragnar the Red when he noticed the Nord talking to Faendal. Faendal didn't go to the Inn much as he knew Sven worked there. When Faendal got to the Inn, it was usually to poke fun at Sven. Although sometimes he just kept quiet. "Any requests anyone?" Sven asked the crowd. There was a silence. "Okay then, I'll just take a break." Sven said sitting at a table. Sven was scoffing a sweet roll when Camilla entered the Inn. Sven quickly swallowed his and jumped to his feet. "Alright guys, tonight I've got a special song for you. This one's about a girl." Sven said excitingly. Camilla had a look of fear on her face. "Skyrim has many beautiful girls. Some wear gold, some wear pearls, but there's just one girl who makes men fall. Camilla Valerius, prettiest of all." Sven sang. Faendal grimaced at the song. "So Camilla, what do you think?" Sven asked the speechless imperial. "It was awful. It sounded like a horker had been hit with an arrow." Faendal said insulting Sven. "No one asked you Bosmer!" Sven snapped. Faendal stood up approaching the bard. "Camilla doesn't want a pathetic bard like you. She wants a real man like me." Faendal spoke in a condescending tone. "You know what Bosmer; I've had enough of you! I will beat you like the skeever you are!" Sven snapped. "Of course the Nord results to violence! I could beat you with one arrow!" Faendal shouted. "Boys please!" Camilla said trying to calm them. "That's it! All of you out!" The Inn owner shouted. "Every time you three are in the same room trouble ensues!" "But Delphine he started it! I'm just trying to do my job!" Sven reasoned. "I don't care. Sven you're fired! Faendal you're banned! Until you two can get along I don't want you anywhere near my Inn!" Delphine shouted. Sven and Faendal exited the Inn angrily.

"I hate you!" Sven screamed. "Oh shut up!" Faendal snapped. "You just got me fired!" Sven screeched. "Oh go drink a barrel full of mead!" Faendal shouted angrily walking into the woods. "That's right run you filthy milk drinker!" Sven shouted back. Sven angrily punched the wall of the Inn. The Nord from the Inn approached Sven. "Good evening, Sven is it?" He asked. "Nice to meet you Sven, I'm Broki. Having a bit of trouble with love?" Broki asked him. "Camilla Valerius knows I'm the best man in Riverwood. That elf is kidding himself if he thinks she would choose him over me. I've seen him sneaking over to the Riverwood Trader to speak with her when I'm not around. He's wasting his time." Sven explained. "Look, Faendal asked me to give Camilla this letter." Broki said handing the letter to Sven. A look of shock appeared on his face. Sven put the letter in his pocket. "What is this? The elf playing at treachery? Shocking. As if I would write this dribble. How about we play a bit of turnabout with Faendal?" Sven said as he took out a blank piece of paper and a quill. "Here. I had to use simple words, but this letter should convince Camilla it's from him." Sven grinned as he handed the Broki the letter. Broki suddenly hugged Sven giving him a fright. "I'll make sure Camilla gets it." He whispered. As Broki walked off Sven looked seriously confused. "Well that was weird." Sven mumbled to himself. Sven walked to went home to show his mother the letter Faendal wrote. Sven reached into his pocket and couldn't find it. He frantically searched his pocket to no avail. "It must've fallen out.

Sven awoke the next morning. As he walked outside he saw Faendal approached Camilla. Camilla slapped Faendal. "You pathetic little elf! You're nothing but a jealous jerk!" she shouted. "Camilla wait! I can explain!" Faendal said panicking. She scurried away from him. Sven approached Camilla with a huge grin on his face. Camilla slapped Sven as well. Sven put his hand on his cheek now warm and tingling. "You are just as bad! I never want to see either of you again!" Camilla shouted. Sven and Faendal both looked baffled. Camilla then approached the Nord man from last night. They kissed. "I can't wait to be married my love. I'll see you in Riften soon" She said in a giddy tone. Sven and Faendal angrily approached Broki. "What the oblivion Broki?" Faendal snapped. "Why on Nirn would you betray me like that Broki?" Sven asked. "You two were constantly bickering about Camilla, but did you once stop to think what she wants? I showed her both of your fake letters. She was appalled with your behaviour." Broki explained. "You pick pocketed me! I knew it!" Sven snapped. "You both were so busy trying to outdo each other and now neither of you get Camilla. I hope it was worth it boys. See you around." Broki said walking off into the sunset. Sven and Faendal stood there in silence. "I can't believe this is the way things ended." Sven said awestruck. "I always thought I'd get Camilla, not some heavy armoured nobody." Faendal replied. "Same, that's one girl I'll never have." Sven said. "Well forget about her, she's an idiot choosing him over a talented bard like yourself." Faendal said. "Yeah, only a fool would pick a milk drinker over a talented archer like you." Sven replied. "Look Faendal, I was a real jerk to you and I'm sorry." Sven said. "I wasn't exactly nice to you either. I did cut your lute strings." "And I cut your bow string." "I'm sorry Sven, for saying that you were a pathetic bard who didn't deserve Camilla." Faendal apologised. "And I'm sorry for saying you were a stupid miller." Sven said apologetically. "We both said a lot of mean things; let's just put this whole thing behind us." "Agreed, now I have to beg Delphine for my job back. But after that you wanna get some mead? It's on me." "I'll apologise to Delphine as well, and I think it's only fair I buy the mead." "You're on elf." Sven said cheerily.

A couple of weeks later, Sven and Faendal were giggling at the Inn downing mead. Then Camilla's brother Lucan entered the Inn. "Hey Lucan how was the wedding?" Sven asked. "Oh you know, just a typical wedding. I had to close the shop all day to get there." Lucan said "Yeah Riften is a bit of a trek. Where are the happy couple living now?" Faendal asked. "They moved to Broki's house in Windhelm, which means I now have the store all to myself." Lucan said. "Well at least you don't live in Windhelm, that place is a skeever hole!" Sven said cheerily. "See, I told you they'd live in a skeever hole Sven!" Faendal and Sven giggled. "Wait, you two are friends now?" Lucan asked confused. "Yep, after your sister rejected both of us, we realised what idiots we were being. Now we're buddies." Sven explained. "Well that's good to hear I guess." Lucan said. "Oh that reminds me, I wrote another song Faendal." Sven said cheerily jumping to his feet. "Girls will come and girls will go. They give you much lip. But one thing is better than that, and that's friendship." Sven sang. Faendal laughed. From then on, Faendal and Sven were good friends. They learnt that friendship is far better than feuding over women. And it was that friendship that lasted through the ages.

Fin-


End file.
